wasted effort

now i know what it means by wasted effort..
and yes.. i know how it really feels now right after the maths test... gosh... my mind was in a blank.. and i cldnt even cool myself down.. and yes.. i am so upset and frustrated cause i spent my entire sunday and last night studying like crazy for maths...and its needless to say that i wont get an a1 andi dont even know if i could pass it.. i need a pass for an overall a1.. tsk/.. yes.. wasted effort.. all downthe drain, waste everyone's time.. waste cheryl's time.. waste my time.. and.......................i wasted my tears crying over the maths test.. gosh.. i hate it..could have slept more last night.. really cld have.. stayed all the way to 11 plus.. and i woke up at 4 plus just for maths...wasted effort.. or did i even put in my best effort.. jsut cant stand it.. bursting.. the frustration in me is like crazy... and guess what.. something horrendous tt i did.. after the test.. i was like crying to myself in my seat in class.. writing myself a letter... ranting all my frustrations.. and cant imagine what type of language i used in it.. goodness.. this is bad.. fell like i am wallowing up in my own sorrows.. i am stressed.. stressed that everyone else is doing so well and me...

THIS IS GEN'S INPUT:
MY FRIENDS ONCE TOLD ME THAT GOD DOESNT CARE WHETHER OR NOT YOU FAIL. CHERIECHONGKEQING WE ALL KNOW YOU WONT FAIL BECAUSE YOU ARE A SMARTGIRL WHO WORKS DAMN HARD AND THEREFORE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. HEH FROM THE BIBLE K, ITS NOT WRONG. YOU AREN'T DEFINED BY THE NUMBER OF A1S YOU GET OR WHETHER OR NOT YOU, LIKE ME, ARE FAILING MATHS. BECAUSE GOD AND EVERYONE ELSE HERE LOVES YOU THE SAME ANYWAY AND IF ANYONE DEOSNT, THEY ARE STUPID TOOTS WHO DONT DESERVE TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYWAY. SO CHEER UP AND STOP CRYING.
LOVE YOU TONS TO BITTY BITS AND I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER WRITTEN IN THE DARKENED ROOM RARH.
YES I KNOW, GENROCKS :DD

yes, i know gen, but i am just very very frustrated now.. there's chem tml.

i need help.