bye

choir farewell 2006 was really great. yep, comm.06/07, you all did a very very gd job! honestly, it was very enjoyable and memorable. the theme of reality tv was not that bad after all, quite easy to dress la.

the video was great. really.it was really a very heartwarming video. and she made me cry again. once when she screamed at me over the phone, and now when she said her heartfelt words. aww.. and who's idea was it to put all my photos ah? somemore got photos of me sleeping? retarded.. haha

let's see, i had fun being super hyper the entire day. laugh like crazy during the project runway game. gen you rock man! you can consider wearing the polka dotted bikini you designed for prom. hot hot hot!! hahah. and enjoyed running around the sch doing all sorts of activities for choir race! it was so fun! it was fun trying to be lame all the time with my ''i c" remarks. haha.. group C, made my gaming time in farewell really enjoyable. yea.

then i enjoyed dressing up, making passports with ching and mong! we are the amazing race three. two contestants and mong, our tour guide. yep, enjoyed laughing at the survivor twosome lix and mich who apparently thinks pple in survivor would wear tribal earrings and the project runway designers who look so totally designers. yep, ashna and gen rocks man.

then i love the moments where the sec4s sat in a circle to practise our item. yea. i love you sec4s, i think we really bonded. yep, everytime when we are sitting in such circles, i thk of czech, of everything tt we went through. and ya. when i was singing the part:

and we will sing,
our last farewell,
a final song
as grey badgers, together
choir, wherever we may be, we believe
you will always be a part of me

my goosebumps just all start appearing and i just feel like tearing. but i really cherish those moments. wished i cld replay everything. sighs, quite sad tt its only this yr then we started bonding so much as a level..

dinner was cool, got to sit down on the floor at nice tables in survivor scenario style.. really very cool. decor for the tables settings and everything was really well thought of and ya, very gd job. the banner tt you pple took 2 days to paint is really nice and stylish i must say. the item tt you pple put up was fantastic, entertaining. well, don't feel disappointed over the dance ok? i know you all worked really hard at it. i am sure we wld love it if we got to see it. whether you all did the dance or not, we still know tt you all worked hard and we still love you!! cheer up ok pple? and you, i know its tough but really try to find a motivation to come down for choir ok? i will miss nagging at you and all, i know that you're trying and struggling with a lot of issues, but stay strong ok? do me proud, i know you will =))

and lastly, thanks everyone who wrote notes to me and gave me really nice and pretty presents. yup, thanks for being so sweet. i love you pple!

you all must work hard and get that gold with honours ok? we believe you pple can do it. comm., thanks for everything. i know you pple worked very hard for farewell. thank you so much!! you guys must have more confidence in yourself ok? we believe that you all can lead the choir to the gold w. honours. ya? we believe you pple can do it. give the teachers some time to trust you all and adapt to you all ok? i am sure at the end of the yr, they will see you pple as great leaders. yup, so during this yr, although it wld be stressful for all of you pple in choir, just know that the results at the end of the day would really be fruitful as long as you guys work hard. YOU ALL MUST WORK HARD OK? BRING THAT GOLD W HONOURS TO STNICKS CHOIR OK? i love you guys!

well, choir farewell always signals one thing. that exams are coming. prelims in 20 something days. prelim pract. for mep is on monday. english oral is on 22 aug. 23rd aug, abrsm grade 8 piano pract.

thought alot abt things during tuition today. sighs. hmm, i guess when i am in reflective mode, it's really easy to tell just by looking at my face and maybe i have an aura of ''bothered-ness'' around me. sorry i was so temperamental. one moment cheerful, another tired and sian diao. take care and get well soon! ya, i thought abt how i can't even do the simplest things and it's not because of maths or anything but the accumulation of everything that has been going on.

so, here's a brief summary of what's been going on since i last blogged:
1) national day was very very very fun although helping out w the fancy dress competitipon was quite tough.
enjoyed singing our hearts out as a sec 4 level. and mrs goh esp has been really motivating and inspiring. took photos w class and form teacher.

2) piano has been very ____________ lessons. well, after grade 8, i will seriously break free from it. COME ON!!

3) school has been very ___. yea, script by script that comes in..

4) interviews had evoked mixed feelings in me. all i can say is, my heart really goes out to you. i feel that sometimes i am going through whatever you are going through. and i know you'll never ever be reading my blog, but i just want to encourage you to really control yourself. sit down, stay calm and reset your mindset and think carefully, slowly,calmly, what you really want and what matters to you in life. maybe then you wont feel so lost. well, i have found someone like me, a thinker. someone who thinks alot and gets lost within yourself and your mind. its not a gd thing neither is it bad. thinking makes me more analytical in a sense when i really use my brain to figure things out. take care alright you!

5)i stayed till 2 that day studying. miracle..

6)relationships have been very strained i suppose. well, it shldnt be this way. but every time i try to forget, something else happens to make me so exasperated that everything in my mind just comes back to haunt me. i don't really feel the need to do anything abt it anymore. that signals tt there's something wrong with me. i shldn't be feeling this way. i shld be feeling as though i need to do something abt it. other relationships have been very 'err-ok'.

why do people move on so easily? when can i move on too, to be independant and stop being who i am right now. sighs,whether i even mix with you all or talk to you pple doesn't make a difference to me. i feel like a historic figure. have been feeling like one for a very long time. and each week that passes seem as though i don't make an impact in anyone's life at all. i don't feel as though i need to because i feel as though i existed in the past. and the past has gone.

what happen to my goal of being inspiring and motivating and wanting to make a difference? well, sounds cliched and whatever one would say to impress. but i really mean it, i want to make a difference i really do. i know what i want. i want to make a difference that's why my ambition when i grown up is to become a teacher. don't laugh cause i am serious abt it. and the sole reason is to be able to work with teenagers, to really interact with them, help them understand not only in academic areas but other walks of life. i want to inspire people.

sigh. when will everything just want o levels to be over. maybe then everyone will stop being so moody and cranky. and everything will be solved naturally.

happy early birthday lix! i enjoyed the bbq party today. thanks for inviting me. ching, thanks for sending me home and accompanying me at the party. jean, thanks for telling me abt xiao ming and xiao hong.. i thk maybe i shld try roaming the streets one day like the pedestrian (lit passage based character) or even like xiao ming in search for life answers.