the christmas Eve

Why not adam?

so as of last night, we finally did our final and last performance. kind of felt a little nervous for maybe the first time on stage while acting. i will miss everyone although it's quite silly to do so since i see them almost every sunday.

church choir sung yesterday again. was quite worried abt it, but in the end i kind of enjoyed myself onstage even though it wasn't a really gd performance i guess. but gd job, uncles and aunties, youths, little kids =)) felt like a clown up there when very few pple were smiling..but the performance was quite enjoyable.

finally spoke to enai last night. we were standing along the sides of the driveway in church, i was ranting and just pouring out my thoughts, she was listening. gave some advice. prayed with me. kind of felt like that little girl in primary 6 again. then we exchanged gifts and hugs. said gdbyes hastily while i rush to meet my caroling group at level 5. as i walked away, i kind of felt a renewed conviction to want to leave everything to god, but yet again i was still rather confused and had all thoughts mixed up.

caroling was great fun. this year's response was much better i thk.. had a few houses to sing to.. then we went to nicodemus's hse. the bake potato and pizza was really great. haha. nevertheless had fun counting down to christmas, smsing well wishes to friends. thanks for all the gifts, cards, wishes. love you all =))

idiot

well, that's me.
i felt so terrible this morning on christmas eve basically cause i cldn't wake up. slept at 3 wanted to wake up at 5 but i snoozed the alarm til 6 and then switched it off for gd.
when i woke up it was 8.15, only to realise that i made enai wait at the coffeeshop yet another time.zzz, sometimes i just hate myself. thank god hozea was with her and so i manage to feel a little bit better, but still idiotic.
so, i had 18 more cards to chiong from the night before.

finished by now already. but tts not why i am an idiot.
basically i thk i have seriously topsy turvy thking and sometimes when i know tt i shldnt be feeling a certain way, i just feel it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

and that's why i thk i am idiotic. thank god that he still loves me despite of who i am. can't help but agree with serene on this that god sees pass our imperfections and accepts us for who we are.

christmas in a few more hrs..

christmas is about His glory

amen to that.
sitting on my swivel chair. listening to classical music.(sort of miss mep days) pondering whether i shld start writing the remaining 30 more cards. haven't bathe, havent even taken out my new monthly contacts, (finally managed to convince my mum since she wants me to start looking for a president scholar bf soon) heh. anyway, i am really tired.. kind of keep saying the same things over and over again =)
anyway, merry christmas to everyone!! take care!

ok, off to do what i suppose to do.

joel said that he had a friend who told him tt christmas is the season where most pple actually feel depress abt. come to thk of it, it's quite true. like, students will start to kind of thk of sch and feel zzzzz. anyway, i thk it's really quite possible for pple to feel depress on christmas. haha, don't know why, but this just came to mind. maybe it's because of what the girls were talking abt tt night. but anw, i was thking like, a girl wld be so depress if her boyfriend were to break up with her on christmas itself. yea, saw pple actually breaking up on prom nights. how dreadful and upsetting huh? and some pple might just feel depress because the year is coming to an end, and maybe they wld just feel so empty and feel as if they have never achieved anything within this year and then feel depress.

well, i guess for me i have started to thk a bit of sch already, stare in disgust at my whole chunk of sec 4 books still left on the shelves, stacked grossly on my table. shudder at the sight of it, yet feeling so lazy toe ven do anything abt them. but i kind of like christmas. that's because it brings pple together. maybe not the bf breaking up with gf part.. but ya, it brings pple together. like everyone gathers at this place, to just talk abt stuff or just grow closer to one another...

oh man, swan lake by tchaikovsky, i thk, just came on. the music is seriously so gd and nice. can almost imagine this princess or someone running through the garden. discovering the beauty arnd her.. then her lover appears or something. haha.. the flute is really gd.

as i was saying, it brings pple together. and the feeling of waarmth is just there. aww, so sweet. but of course i thk the process of it like writing cards and shopping for stuff are a bit tiring. haha, but of course you do it in the end to bless ppl and to encourage them or jsut to say how much you love them for being with you through the year. wasn't planning to do anything but i felt so much like the grinch.. so, in the end i decided to just do it! =)) went last min shopping with abel at j8. surprisingly, we didnt manage to meet alan, christabel and hazel who were at j8 also, and the best part was tt they went themselves also. haha.

christmas, ultimately reminds me of christ of how he came to this world, to save us. god in flesh.

he came to save us
king of kings and lord of lords
his name is jesus
god with us, immanuel has come.
amen.

Angels we have heard on high

these few days have just been really fun and great working with the entire cast, crew and our lovely director serene =))

performance at bradell cc 18/12: i guess it was kind of our first performance so many things we had to adjust to. although i thk this night's stage was the best (cause it's spacious and really better than the ones at tangs or ps) thk we had quite alot of technical problems and ya.. the rain was.. non stop. but nonetheless gd try everyone, considering tt it was our first performance =))))

performance at PS 19/12: hmm, the rain did kind of made the entire thing a little blah. but nonetheless, it was just so enjoyable to walk around the shopping centre clad in our costumes, singing carols at the entrance to attract pple to go watch the skit. met a few st nicks pple and even miss tan. haha. quite fun =)) i have never enjoyed myself so much.. and to think i was actually feeling a little tired of everything but hey, yesterday at PS was just so so so fun!! haha. i guess despite the rain, god is still very good to us. many pple came down to support. yep, thanks so much pple!

performance at TANGS 20/12: today was yet another great day! haha, thats why i am so happy now, smiling non stop whenever i thk of our performance and cast,crew, director..praise god that he held back the rain today. weather's really lovely, crowd was good. honestly, it was fun.. feel so hyped up now!! went to help Dr Hozzy with the operation today. the staffs are doing well now. reapaired the broken joints using chopsticks and then we wrapped it up with new brown skin!! heh, so happy to even hold the staff feeling more secure tt it wont break during the performance =)))))))))))))))))

last performance tmr at orchard near taka!! yay!! but kind of start to feel a little sad.. cause i thk, cast crew director, we have practically been mtg up for 2 weeks almost every night to rehearse, perform.. like after performances suddenly you start to feel a little empty without having to do anything at night. aww.. haha, will miss this..

as for now, i guess i will have to gather my sheep, take care of my staff and wait to hear from angels again.. =)

sigh, smth's bugging me.

holiday

right. so a thousand and one things happened again since i last blogged abt my teeth. anyway, they are getting better, now not painful but i am really quite concern abt one bracket on my one of my bottom tooth. seems to be coming out soon. really hope it holds until my next appt. anyway, as i was saying, many things happened. well, there was bay camp which is really reflective and reminding. triggered a lot of new thoughts, new things to think abt for next year. there was prom which was unexpectedly quite excellent for me. i am missing my friends already. hmm photos will be up when i finally meet nat online, receive all photos from her and compile everything. there was holiday to genting-KL which was great, not bad. many things happened along the way like how a small blood vessel burst in my eye due to too much screaming on the roller coaster rides. thrilling holiday. what else? there was kids camp at church, which i didnt do anything at all. felt tt i needed a break. so super tiring. yep, and then, now there's prep work for the musical cum skit at orchard! can't really remember the dates now but yea, i will be perfoming as a shepherd! rehearsals have been great. serene's really good at drama stuff. think she's a great director =)and then, there's also practices for church choir. have to keep reminding myself that all these are for GOD. so, as much as i kind of don't really like church choir pracs, i want to do it la =)

suddenly, there are so many things to think about. tsk. of course i prayed about them. yea, GOD will take care of me. but sometimes i just don't understand certain things like how can one be so.. well, maybe i do it sometimes also but i always make it a point now to do so. esp, after my sch friends reminded me to. well, maybe i am over sensitive as usual but still..and ya, i honestly don't know what's going to happen next year. so much uncertainty. how's school going to be like? how're my results going to be? how and whether i'm going into ministry?


if it's Your will, everything will fall into place.