one day i'll fly away

i want to be free
i want to be free from this place
(when i grow up)

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me
When will love be through with me
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends


this is the day.

smth abt you that makes me smile

omg, i love this photo besides the fact that Mong isn't in it. but yea. memories of syf two years back have been dominating my mind since tuesday. yes, don't know why don't know what but somehow with you all around, i feel so.. natural, at ease, comfortable.. like i was back in secondary sch. my mum says i hold on too much onto past memories. ohwell. today was an emotional day for me i guess. it was super weird though. the moment i reached sch i was zi-highing while talking to sera and jianyi at the class bench. it was so funny. we were talking abt all sorts of weird things that happned on yesterday's choir practice and how jianyi looks like a christmas elf.yuntian seconds that. christmas is here!! stamp, clap ha! (sorry, there i go again). and i just kept bursting into laughter. and then, suddenly after all that uncontrollable laughter, there was this fatigue that settled in. so for the rest of the day after i stopped going mad when econs lecture started, i got into this really lethargic mode. thk i used up too much ATP (adenosine triphosphate= smth like energy) laughing in the morning. crazy. either that or i am having serious mood swings.

anyway, smth is bothering me quite a bit. urgh, i am so going to slap myself. help! i am so going to build a hideout somewhere in the grounds of hwachong where pple like me can be quiet in.. i need to find a quiet place where i can go to seek solace in.


that pair of eyes that speak of understanding and assurance
that laughter you make when something amuses you, (it makes me want to laugh with you)
that nod you always give to remind me of confidence <3
that's smth abt you that makes me smile.

gold with honours!

i love snchoir with every single fibre of my being!
yes dears, you all did it =))from a senior's point of view, i can only say that, looking at you all on stage was absolutely breath-taking. hmm,the moment you all walked on stage.. i ebt the whole row of seniors were alr smilign like shit. ya, jsut cldn't stop. and moments before that we were all having heart trepidations. HAHA stands for having a heart attack! haha! and after the performance we were all so proud right til the waiting for the results, we all felt quite scared, remembered that gen and i were squeezing each other's hands, closing our eyes shut.. haha. ya, and when it was announced chij st nicholas girls' choir, gold with honours! although miss lim said not to scream.. it was an unconditioned reflex.. everyone jsut automatic scream like mad.. haha! ahhhh! i was so ecstatic all the way back home! i am so so so proud! it feels so gd even though i am not in the choir anymore. like you hear ppl arnd talking abt stnicks choir getting gwh! i am so so so absolutely proud tt you all got it. well done pple! well deserved results! well done committee! all the tears that you all shed for the choir worth it right? haha.. besides, you all looked pretty glam for once in tt purple uniform!and miss lim looked really gd also.loved her choker. i missed the 'red sea' though.

once again, to god be the glory!

haha, went bonkers.. just seeing the rest of clgmm makes me smile =)) hope tt, i can load the photos soon! love them all. hope you girls had a great dinner!

yep,it's hwachong's turn to get it man! we will get it. come on pple! let's do it! it's 13 more days only =)) zhi3 hui4 bi4 sheng4, bu4 xu3 shi1 bai4! haha, is that correct? omg! i jsut used a chinese phrase! woohoo! this is what hwachong does to you. fttm! (funny to the max)

so, what do you call bob the builder when he retires?

answer: bob. (duh?)

fly away

ok, haven't updated in such a long time.
yep, firstly, thanks everyone for all the encouragement! i'm fine. yes, feeling much much better alr, because a miracle happened that night, for the first time in so many months. thankful. have been looking forward to it for such a long time. anyway, i managed to release everything out that monday. and now, i am fine. re-energized, renewed..
no, i'm not stressed, even if i am.. ya, i am doing much better now. feeling more motivated i guess.

choir's been doing fine <3! we must continue to improve bit by bit. i can smell the honours coming! come on! we have got to get it and we can! <333 other than that, i have been trying to get my register and resonance back. somehow, kind of lost it. and i shld stop scrunching my face or tensing my shoulders when i sing. and i need to breathe more.

lol. after today's practice, miss ho and miss lim were reminding the choir abt smth impt in our lives as a student. and that struck me hard on the face. cld it be god's voice resonating through them? argh! help help help. i was like, ahhh when i heard it. and i can feel myself crinching within. hmm, lishan felt the same way and then after that, a few pple switched to reflective mode. then some of the alto jnrs set together and we began sharing a bit on whats going on so far..xianyou was like repeating the same line over and over again to me. then i nearly died. but then again, i'll be fine. i need to talk to god. hello god.. are you trying to hint smth here? hmm.

ooh, phantom of the opera was very very nice! the music was good. and the stage effects, lighting.. everyth was good. indeed a world-class musical. i felt so awed after the entire performance. nearly cried the last bit when the phantom was singing.. hmm, felt that his character portrayed a lot abt rejection and disappointment.

have been listening a lot of corrinemay's songs recently. inspiring lyrics and the music's just gd. i'm glad you shared the songs with me, the tunes have been stucked in my head. have been listening to it so frequently esp. when i take the bus back. thank you mortal <3!

you can fly so high
keep your gaze upon the sky
i'll be praying every step, along the way
even though it breaks my heart to know,
we'll be so far apart
i love you, too much
to make you stay
baby, fly away...

still sing

RJ chorale was so entertaining. yep. not bad a concert. really quite light hearted. GEN the bimbo and QUAN the SOLO pwns! haha! I LOVE YOU BOTH! haha, ching and i agreed that gen so totally got her bimbotic practices from our days in st nicks. haha. THE SUN I SWEAR, IS BLEACHING OUT MY GORGEOUS HAIR =))) entertainment aside. RJ CHORALE has quite a different sound from miss lim's choirs. yep, i guess they sound more fat and ya, sound has more body and it's darker. but sops were a bit thin on the high notes. and some chords weren't formed nicely. otherwise i thk their stage presence is really quite gd. expression and all. i like their fat sound. haha.

and and not forgetting RI choir. there's this really cute sec 1 boy who's quite short and small and haha, vulnerable.
oops. hurhur. i <3 val, nat, ching,lix,gen,mong, mich and quan! missed you all <33

yes, the weekend had been dismal. just 4 letters. s.i.a.n. urgh, many times where i nearly lost it. and on saturday.. it was extremely hilarious. was at the avt. and some of the pple were throwing the ball that we used for captains ball around. and there was this throw that went from the ground to the pple who were sitting at the top of the avt. and the ball like flew pass a few of us who were sitting on the lower levels. although it probably didnt fly anywhere near me, i just screamed and i started tearing automatically. haha. was damn funny la. then cause the pple arnd me were laughing, i started laughing too, so i was laughing and tearing like some crazy sort person. haha. thankfully it stopped soon enough.

i feel an outburst coming soon. just like any minute my rubber band is going to snap. and it's ridiculous. why am i feeling this way and hello woman? you are only in j1? if i go on feeling whatever it is i am feeling, j2 will just be a worse nightmare. ok, breathe!! don't stress!! breathe!!

so, god, i pray that you won't let that happen. help me to remain strong and cheerful so that i may encourage those around me. i read this prayer somewhere. it goes smth like.. lord, i don't understand why this is happening, i don't know why it's this way and i don't know why it's happening to me but still i thank you.

(don't need to wait for the sun to shine
don't need to wait for the clouds to clear
i'll still sing
i know that my god, you're so good
don't need to wait for the waves to still
don't need to wait for the storms to calm
i'll still sing
i know that my god, you're so good)

phantom of the opera on tues <3
and there's choir tmr <333

self control

ok self control is the keyword.
self control from screaming and making that urgh.. noise that will spoil my throat
self control from eating fried food and all sorts of things that will hurt my throat
self control from wishing our chem teacher would take the day off
self control from thinking of stuff
self control from pressing numbered and green buttons
self control from emoing
self control from letting those tears flow down

ok, self control aside.. st nicks just blows me away. for many reasons. and i love my dear choir girls. just make sure you girls go all out and all the way. 2 more weeks only. CAN! i nearly teared while i hear her speak promisingly abt snchoir. thk we all came a long way since the last syf 2 yrs ago in 2005. and ya, finally this is the batch which can fufill the long awaited dream. we shall see. if all of you can maintain it till syf, you win. and i just want to say that i am very inspired after hearing them. i guess it makes me want to work hard for my own competition and create MUSIC.

anw, choir prac yesterday for me was kind of a rarr practice. haha, yep, was feeling even more rarr when i got home. sound just cldn't come out and i dont even know if the dong ding DANG doong awful sound came from me. ya. thk i overstretched my vocal chords. it feels like they are going to snap and my entire lungs is going to collapse kind of feeling. haha, psychological. i shld say, ''i am fine''. yes, and i realise i shld just smile everyday cause a smile can probably make a whole lot difference to someone else. so any trashy feelings, just ren3 and go find a wall to kick or smth. lol.

so concert schedules:
14th april RJ CHORALE
17th april THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
24th april SYF CENTRAL JUDGING FOR CHOIR (SECONDARY SCHOOLS)
17th may VJ CHOIR CONCERT
27th may HC CONCERT

KIV: njc choir concert. details unknown.

wow. HAPPENING RIGHT?
yes, 8th may is drawing closer and closer, it just makes me want to work harder. i really really want it. and we will get there! although not everyone may be completely of the same mind yet but i know everyone is working towards it. could have slap myself for making weird noises last evening. seriously! i shld have more faith. yes, feeling rarr wasn't an excuse for me to react so lack of faith and disgusting. ohmy, i just realise how insensitive i was.. ETTM! (er to the max)

RARR!! ok, breathe!!! that was yesterday. i was er. now i shld get over it. and move on!
ok nvm. today i feel refreshed and more positive..

so much for feeling better, i shld get myself ear plugs. seriously.

how?

ok, end at 12.30 today. finally a reasonably early day that i end sch at. at the library now.. finally manage to find time to relax at the library.. listening to my abrsm grade 8 favourites on the ipod.. haha, sonata in g reminds me so much of nat pua whom i so dearly miss!

i miss cclgmmhq sorely.. but yay! meeting them on sat! looking forward to gen ang's concert! heard she's gonna do a solo. ooh! all the way man!

haha, nostalgia! i was telling someone that day abt czech republic! oh my gosh!

besides that of course, sch today was ok. just that many pple seem really stressed up, tired and all. sigh, i guess the least i can do is to really keep praying for them.

hmm, the piano is a damn nice instrument! like i wish i could play as well. like one day i could sit at a cafe and just start playing jazz pieces.. but nah. dont thk it'll ever happen. ahvent touched my keyboard in years. like there's no motivation. it's great to be able to play pieces and when you hear gd pianists playing, you jsut melt. and plus plus, some songs are really nice.. but when you come down to learning them, it's a whole deal of hard work. so msot of the time i like give up halfway. which is super bad..

oh! bridge announcement was quite fun today, thought that our second song was quite rush though.. otherwise, great job pple!! =)) haha, take a chance on me!

so ya, anyone wants to coem for hc choir concert? 27th may2007 at the esplanade 7.30pm sunday! ticket prices at 13,16 and 26. i know that it's on the global day of prayer too.. but yep, just let me know if you want to come for my concert ok? it's going to be really cool. for stnicks pple, we're going to sing jaacobin also! and err.. there's this really damn cute cactus song. ya, you know what i mean. hurrhurr.

yep, publicity pple, good job done too! yay!! our banner looks lovely. =))

back to reflecting and relaxing and reading newsweek. seeya =))

a leopard who never changes its spots, a reflective day, a tiring afternoon

so, i just got home and guess what, i found a leopard residing in the living room sofa watching tv. still as badly behaved.
yesterday was a day where i reflected a lot amidst the soft singing of 'somewhere out there'. the wind blew gently the music was good. there was this feeling that was moving. music perhaps? well, did a lot of reflection and came to my conclusions. byt he end of the day my throat hurt, still does but better after i drank apple cider. going to take another cup tonight. so, everyone please hang on and jiayou. i guess whatever that happened probably showed us where we stand currently in a performance setting.
finally we hung the banner. praactised our songs and i guess we're all set for tmr! thank you publicity comm. people!! you've been a great bunch! many thanks to our lady boss also! =)) tiring day though maybe cause i slept only 4 plus hrs. zzz. record breaking news man! but i dont know why either. i got up at 3. and i cldnt go back to slp. so might as well, complete my gp and PI.

so there you have it, a leopard who never changes its spots, a reflective day and a tiring afternoon. written by C.C keqing

yes, other than that i am very very encouraged by god's miracle! he healed Jayna.. and ya, god is good! amen!